Sherry Richert Belul is Leaving a Luscious Legacy

In the midst of everyday life, it is easy to forget how extraordinary — and fleeting— our lives are. ~Sherry Richert Belul

‘Tis the season, yes? I don’t know about you, but for me, December can be a pretty stressful month. Each year when the holidays arrive, I give myself the gift of a grounding ritual. I give my “old self” a great big hug and I remind her that she does not have to go into overdrive or, in my case, “over pleasing” mode. People will still love me if I simply give them a delicious bar of artisan chocolate for Christmas.

Today I’d like to introduce you to someone who is leaving a luscious legacy in her family and . . . in the world. I met Sherry in October and was immediately drawn to her story.

When she spoke of her holiday celebrations with her son, I felt a wave of emotion wash over me. Yes, I’m easily moved to tears. When I was a little girl, my mother called that “too sensitive.” As a woman, I’ve come to embrace my highly sensitive side. I hope you are equally inspired by Sherry and the meaning she gives to the words, simply celebrate.

Sherry Richert Belul believes that in the midst of everyday life, it is easy to forget how extraordinary — and fleeting— our lives are. So she helps people celebrate who they are, the people they love, and the shape of their lives — even when none of those look the way anyone had imagined. Her company, Simply Celebrate, offers one-of-a-kind tribute gift books, life coaching, and inspirational books/articles. Sherry is the author of Simply Celebrate: 101 Ways to Turn Ordinary Days into an Extraordinary Life and Present Perfect: 127 Creative, no-to-low cost, wow-‘em gifts they’ll never forget.

I love your message, Sherry. You have created something so rich from a place of pain and darkness: celebration as a practice. Could you share with us a piece of your story and how you came to “consciously” seek celebration as a way of life?

Sure thing, Sue Ann. Thanks so much for asking. Here’s my story …

In 1991 I had just broken up with my boyfriend after a recent move to San Francisco. I was broken hearted and grappling with a depression that had been nipping at my heels for years. I couldn’t kick it off and I fell into what I called the “pit” — a dark hole without any sign of light.

By luck, a good friend of mine gifted me with a book by Zen teacher, Cheri Huber. This book led me to take a meditation class. I still remember how I felt walking into that first class. I was in such a place of pain and darkness that it felt like an iron wall closing in on me. There was no relief. The instructor had us focus on our breath, breathing in. Breathing out. Breathing in. Breathing out. And a tiny miracle happened. I will never forget this. I was breathing in and I realized in that full breath, there was no pain.

It all came rushing back right away, of course. But in that single moment, I saw a crack in the iron all around me. It was like a tiny pinprick of light. The next day I had a moment in which I saw a wide blue sky. I had a moment in which I lay in the sun and held my cat, feeling her purr. I tasted the blueberry jam on my toast. Each of these felt like more pinpricks of light in that iron wall. And those moments helped me realize that I could consciously turn my attention to these moments of joy.

And then, I realized that I didn’t have to wait for these moments to occur in my life.  I could seek them out. I could CREATE moments of well-being and joy. And perhaps, these moments would multiply, creating a life that felt colorful, alive, and free.

I’ve spent the twenty plus years since then exploring what it means to deliberately seek out joy and what it means to consciously seek and create celebration. I’ve learned that joy doesn’t just land on me; joy is a practice. And celebration isn’t just for what we call special occasions. Celebration is a way of life.

The holidays can be stressful for women. There is a lot of pressure around getting it “right,” creating the “perfect” celebration. I’d love for you to share with us some of the unique ways you imbue the holiday season with joy and delight.

The holidays are one of the times I really like to emphasize the “simply” part of Simply Celebrate. You’re so right that it is a time when people think things need to be perfect, like some Normal Rockwell painting. (Or whatever the current-day ideal might look like!). Personally, I think the holidays are a time when we can all practice letting go of so much doing and instead really consider what a gift it is to simply be present with the people we love. In my own life that looks like not having a long list of obligatory gifts to buy, but instead thinking of ways I can create memories with the people in my life. One of my favorite ways of doing this is demonstrated in what we call the “Holiday Hoopla.”  (www.simplycelebrate.net/cherry-blossom-soup/make-memories-create-hoopla)

The West Coast clan (my son, my ex-husband, my ex’s dad, my beau, and I) all travel to Ohio to visit my mom and the East Coast clan. Instead of loading up on gifts, we plan a day of experiential fun. One year we had a variety show and carnival. For another couple years we did spoofs on the television show, Survivor — complete with wacky games and challenges. This Christmas, we’re planning a Murder Mystery Dinner Party and some thematic mystery fun.  Not only is it a blast to spend a day having fun with the whole family, but the planning is so much fun. I love to see my son all lit up when we talk about what we’re going to do and as we go about the details of the day. Plus, we’re creating memories that we’ll all share and laugh over for years to come.

Another important aspect of the holidays for me is my annual campaign to get people to create Love Lists. Love Lists are just what they sound like — a list of all the reasons we love somebody. They don’t cost anything to make and they’re a no-fail path to feeling good. For both the maker and the recipient! Love Lists are another great alternative to material gifts and I’ve heard stories from people who make them the centerpiece of Christmas dinner by creating one for everyone and reading them aloud.  I offer a free download of a professionally designed Love List that folks can print out, fill out, and give out: www.simplycelebrate.net/love.

These are two ways to simplify the gift giving aspects of the holiday. But I always encourage folks to simplify everywhere they can. Make the measuring stick for the season be “how much quality time can I have with the people I love?” and that will dictate certain choices. Maybe you opt to order in some take-out in order to buy yourself extra time? Maybe you make sure you have a steamy bath instead of running out to one more store so you can be relaxed when people arrive? Maybe you turn off the television and any other background noise, light some candles, and bask in much-needed peacefulness?

My rule of thumb for everything I do is that I ask myself, “Is this bringing me energy and joy or depleting me?” The more joyful and energized I am, the better gift I can be to everyone.

When you hear the words, “less stress, more joy” what comes to mind?

Lower the bar. Lower the bar. Lower the bar.  Actually, what I really mean is, lower the bar of how things LOOK and instead, raise the bar on how things FEEL. What I said up above is so true: being present and full of vitality is the very best gift we can give anyone in our lives, including ourselves. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, take care of yourself first. Get lots of sleep. Make sure you get to yoga class. Don’t skip meditation. Eat your spinach! All too often we run around like crazy trying to do, do, do. And there’s nothing left of us to share with others.

Here’s a little something to try that will help you remember. You know that song, “Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow?” Well, change the lyrics and sing to yourself, “Let it Go, Let it Go, Let it Go!” Sing this to yourself as you go about your day and let it be a reminder that letting go = less stress = more joy!

Do you have a favorite recipe you’d like to share with us?

I know this isn’t exactly the kind of recipe you’re looking for, but honest-to-goodness, this is what dropped in when I first read your question: My favorite recipe for joy is this:

One part seeking things to celebrate about our lives.
One part acceptance of everything that doesn’t look the way we’d imagined.
One part pure self-expression of whatever is there in the moment.
Mix it all in with lots of compassion and toss in a good dose of humor.
🙂